Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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