And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
