How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
