just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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