when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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