there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
