i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
