i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I want her autograph on my taint
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
