If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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