The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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