i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
