you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
