Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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