Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
