How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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