Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
