We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
