She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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