Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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