so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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