it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
