I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just found puke in my bra..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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