I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
