he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
