I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
