I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
ok first of all what the fuck
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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