Reggie can tackle my bush.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
