lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
