Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Holy sore nipples Batman
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
