What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
