Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I pour the whiskey from now on
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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