For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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