Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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