Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
