Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
