saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
