College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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