to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
