Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
