She is in my trunk
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
