When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Girls should come with a carfax report
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
