So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
As shirtless as possible
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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