is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
