I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
