McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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