Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
