You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
