There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
whose parrot is this?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
