I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
