But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
