There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
