I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize