Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
