Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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